For many years, I’ve told myself that I am shy. I’ve refused to take up space in areas I’d like to be in, because of the belief that I’m shy. I’ve refused to speak up because I’m shy.
You know what? Enough of that. Enough of shrinking myself and my image.
I can be reserved in some settings and with certain people, and I may take time to share my views or opinions on varying subjects. But, I want to stop being shy.
Shyness is when you have a crippling fear of interacting with people. Enough of that. Enough of living in fear.
I’m an observant and a deep thinker. My thoughts are often calculated and thorough. I like to speak my mind and usually always have something to say.
In view of that, this year, I want to step outside of my comfort zone, take up space, be visible, and take hold of what’s mine. For me to achieve those goals, I want to stop believing the notion that I’m shy. I want to become a better speaker, presenter of information, and most importantly, a better communicator. In achieving all these things, my confidence will increase, which in return will help me come out of my shell and lead to growth!
I want to live out God’s word and will for my life. To do that, I have to take steps to overcome my “shyness.” God has not given me the spirit of fear or timidity, but of love, power, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).
If you’re shy, overcoming shyness can be a challenge, but the good news is that it’s definitely possible. Here are some steps you can take to work through your shyness, so you can obtain confidence and take up the spaces you belong in:
- Acknowledge your shyness or reservation about social settings
- Recognize that you’re shy and that it’s something you can change. Change is possible and definitely inevitable. Before you can change anything, you must want the change and believe it’s possible. Recognize that your weakness doesn’t have to remain a weakness, but can be improved and worked on.
- Identify your triggers
- What makes you feel shy? Is it meeting new people, public speaking, or being in a crowded room? Once you know your triggers, you can work on strategies to manage them.
- Know your strengths and build confidence
- Identifying your strengths gives you leverage over others. When you know your strengths, social settings can become easier for you to navigate.
- Do you give great compliments? Leverage that by being a great observer and starting a conversation with others by giving compliments. Giving compliments can start a conversation that can lead to meaningful connections.
- Get outside your comfort zone and practice being social
- Pay attention to how others strike up a conversation. Personally, I don’t always enjoy small talk. However, I’ve learned that you can know a lot about others, through a few minutes of interaction.
- Stop saying no when others invite you to social events because you’re shy. If you have to go with a friend, do that, because it’ll make it a bit easier to interact with others.
- If you’re good at giving compliments, leverage that.
- Seek support and invest in your personal development
- As someone who gets nervous when asked to speak in front of an audience, it was time to change that. I didn’t want to continue living with intense anxiety when public speaking was required of me.
- In an effort to change that, I joined a local Toastmasters club. It’s been 3 months of membership and I can tell you, it’s been a great investment for my personal growth! I gave my first speech a few weeks ago, I’ve taken up roles, and I’m considering becoming a club officer in the future.
- All these wouldn’t be possible, if I didn’t identify a change was necessary and sought support for it. Of course, I’ll still get nervous when speaking in public, but it won’t be as bad as before and I’m learning techniques to use to manage it.
In moving towards any change, it’s important to keep it in prayer. You can’t do it alone, but only by God’s grace. I’m rooting for your success.
xoxo
